Little Box of Secrets

It's been such a long time since I've written a new post on my blog. I have been overwhelmed(in a bad way)with so many things to do... Working is too hectic. I wish sometimes that I didn't have to work. I wish sometimes that I had my own clothing boutique which will also have some books as well and a specialized tailor for some girls to get their clothes fitted if in case they need to... And the best part, I can be my own boss! Sigh! No way in hell I can start that right now with the kind of work I am doing at present. And they have blocked access to Facebook, Youtube, Yahoo and all the rest of the most popular websites(cost cutting. It seems that my company spends millions every year on the band-with used for Youtube). Which makes work a lot more stressful and depressing. Luckily for me, Google is not blocked and so is Twitter. So today, when I finished my work early, I had the chance to read some of my old posts. They were hilarious as they reminded me of a more childish ...

August 27th, 2019: She stood there, waiting. It was a dull autumn afternoon and she had been waiting for over an hour. The park was unusually quiet except for an occasional chirp of critters and there were just a few people nearby-a plump old woman walking her dog, a young couple lying on a blanket and a few kids running around. She wanted to go back to her hotel room, call room service and sip on some iced tea but she chose not to. But she waited, armed with a pink bejeweled pen and a diary. It had become a habit of hers to carry a pen and a notebook wherever she went. She opened her diary and scribbled some lines down and closed it again. She reached inside her over-sized Prada bag for her cell-phone and tried his number once again and got directed to voice mail. She silently observed the people around her. The kids were trying to put a caterpillar in one of their friends’ hair and were happily giggling while the old woman was mumbling about her aching bones to her dog. Meanwhi...

Current mood: confused Category: Writing and Poetry Maybe its best to let go, Maybe this wasn't meant to be... I may be lost without you, But i gotta find my own way.. Like a sparrow in the rain, A sailor in a storm, I gotta struggle 4 my own... you've pulled me through And helped me fight the pain, But i gotta move on Before I break you down. I've been like a virus, Killing you with every step i take. I've been like a parasite, Drainin you of your life... Im sorry for all the pain i caused you, Im sorry for wasting your time, But i had a life when i was with you, I just lost myself, Im not heartless, Im just confused...

You see i cant sleep at night, Cant seem to face the light... Im so ashamed of myself, Ashamed that i lost the love you gave... People keep on askin me, But i cant tell em what its gonna be... I lost your love, your trust... Lost everything we've built up Wit our own two hands... Seems like im lost in a trance. Seems like its all a bad dream, Sometimes i just wanna scream!!!! What we had is now lost in time, Floating in space without a rhyme... I've lost my mind you see, Lost everything you gave to me... You were my world, my love, Now you've flown away little dove... Its all my fault that we're dying, I shouldn't have been lying... Never knew that one act of betrayal, Could put two lovers into trial... But these tired eyes see only you, My dying mind remembers only you... You are like a drug to me, But maybe we were never meant to be

This yearning in my heart, This confusion in my mind, The words left unspoken, Haunts me all the time. Everyday I watch time pass by With an emptiness in my life And a hole in my heart... There are nights I wake up crying And wishing you were here To hold me in your arms And wipe away my tears. There is something that keeps me holding on- What I'll never know... But one day things will go my way, And I'll, have you in my arms...

DELILAH October 20th 2009. Here she was...staring at her screen again... 5minutes. Nothing. 20minutes. Nothing. 1hour. Nothing. She was sick and tired of waiting. 'He' wasn't going to come online...as usual. She turned off her laptop and picked up the novel she was reading. She tried hard not to think about 'him' nor about her complicated relationship with Jonathan. For a moment, guilt crept in but she convinced herself that this was just a 'fling'. She was just doing this to distract her mind from 'him', but she couldn't deny that this 'fling' could hurt other people. She had been seeing Jonathan for a few months and she found him an effective distraction from her thoughts about 'him', that's why she kept on seeing him inspite of the risks involved in it. All she hoped was for Jonathan's wife not to find out about it... August 11th 2009. She was running late for Mimi's house-warming party and she didn't even have...

For years and years I’ve went around proudly with my name, facing all ridicule of people misspelling it or mispronouncing it. I love my name. My father named me after Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy, the wife of the 35th President of the United States of America, John F. Kennedy. Only a few (and I mean a few) people are familiar with the name (in India). When people ask me my name, I tell them, usually following it with, ‘You know Jacqueline Kennedy?’ and most of the time I get a negative answer. I don’t remember anyone I’ve asked recognizing the name. This usually brings me to frown inside. Then I add, ‘She’s the wife of John F. Kennedy… Former president of U.S.A?’ and this particular statement is usually received with a blank stare which explains it all… They don’t even know John F. Kennedy for crying out loud!!! How can I expect them to know Jackie Kennedy??? Don’t they even read magazines and books? Don’t they even watch Fox History or Hallmark? The life and death of J.F.K have been do...