Little Box of Secrets

'Never look back', whispered the voice inside my head as I ran as fast as my weak and tired legs could carry me.
The cold wind lashed violently against my bare cheeks but I didn't stop.

I couldn't stop.

I shouldn't.

I had to keep moving on to keep us safe, me and my baby.

I ran and ran till I was out of breath...till I had to stop.

I looked back and smiled.

They're gone.

I shifted the baby to my left arm and reached inside my jacket pocket for the crumpled piece of paper that held my future...our future.
I had some money in my purse to last us a few days but we didn't have a place to stay.
I thought and thought but couldn't think of anything.
I had no one, no one but the baby, MY baby.
I was hungry and cold, the jacket was barely enough to keep us warm.
Then suddenly, I remembered. I rushed to the nearest subway and bought a ticket with the precious cents which I'd managed to save.

It's been three days since I've been here. This place migh…

I want to write.
But how do I write when I can't even figure myself out?
How can I make sense when I've lost complete control of my senses?
I don't know what's wrong with me, what happened to me or what I need...
I feel so lost.
I feel like a ship without a compass.
Hell! I don't even know what I want anymore.
I don't even remember since when i've been like this.
I've withdrawn myself emotionally from almost everyone that's close to me,
causing me to lose a few 'friends'.
I remember when I used to wish that I felt nothing.
Now, it's like I feel nothing except the emptiness that's killing me.
I feel like a zombie.
I'm so lost.
I don't know what to do!
HELP!